25 March 2010
I lay in bed, gazing into the cozy abyss as my thoughts travel from foreign end to foreign end. The deepest thoughts I lock away in the hidden parts of my mind, seep out from the crevices of my brain to taunt me and hinder me from achieving slumberous freedom. These thoughts are unkind and cut through the delicate facade I build to protect my sanity. Yet, uncovering these thoughts sends me plummeting into modesty and humility. I can fool anyone, but in the end the battle against myself has no victory because I cannot fool myself. I don't know if these are feelings of subconscious guilt for having not lived my life the way I dreamed... The unkind guilt for not being the best of who I can be.